its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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