What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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