I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
