My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
