VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
