what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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