I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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