so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
