The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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