reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
