My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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