Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
