he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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