I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
