my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
