we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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