did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
