you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
