2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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