they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
