Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
