I wanna bring you to show and tell
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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