Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize