Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
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My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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