It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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