I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
