Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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