How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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