I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
