Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
