Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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