you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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