What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
