So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
