if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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