New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
