It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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