she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
