Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
