Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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