Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
