Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
