bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
