I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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