I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
