It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
