i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
