My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
