giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
