Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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