you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
