the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
