Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
