I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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