id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
