God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
