Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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