we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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