I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
