I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
