Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
