You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
